Stupid questions asked by my users


What's wrong with my computer?
One user turned his own personal Laptop upside down while it was turned on (in windows)..The Hard drive did not crash there and then but he did have some disk trouble later on.....
How do I tilt my monitor?
can you clean the keyboards?
Can you please explain how the different parts the computer work?
What does the disk do? (from a guy who has been using a computer for about two years....)
Do I type C: to change to the C drive? (this is from a guy with a PC on his desk for over a year......)
Can you download a driver for a soundcard from the internet for me? (This was for his home computer..)

One guy,for whatever reason,printed out config.sys,enboldened by this
achivement he prints out mouse.sys expecting a text file-it is ,of course,
a binary file which makes the printer (a laserjet 4SX) wet itself causing
it to print 4 characters per sheet...He did not realise his error until
about 60+ pages were printed.....

User came to me saying "I lost my file etc..",I wander on over..Transpires
said user was looking for the file within word for windows..For a hour..
User did not know about the search option in file manager..User had only been
using windows for at least three years ...

"I can't log in..Could do it yesterday..." Transpires luser was "loging in" in upper case on a unix machine..
One guy decided to print out the content of the enviromental variable $SHELL-this contains the path to his shell,which is a binary program. Result is about 40 pages of rubbish was printed before we could stop it.....
Received a phone call from a guy who had exited from microsoft word without saving his file-wanted to know how he could get it back.......
People moving PC's without turning them off...One guy who did this managed to destroy a network card in the process....
I really really really REALLY hate people asking me questions about their pc at home-expecting me to know the error messages produced by a BIOS written ten years ago......
My father overheard this little gem in a Tandy shop... "Well,IBM don't write softwear......"err,os/2? Anyway that was the manager...Mmmm...

UNIX-Wierd,wacky and wild.....

Windows woe...


Something silly happened some time ago-I help run a Sparc 1000E along with some smaller Suns-one of the smaller suns(called Fred) has /usr/local/bin on it,which all the others mount by NFS.I came in one morning to be greeted with the cry "FRED is SLOW!!", taking a look I see that NFS deamons are hogging the CPU..After much playing around,coffee etc Fred is rebooted-only for the problem to return...On another sun using a program called traffic I see that 1000E and fred are spraying out packets to each other like crazy-okay we though reboot the 1000E-as we asked all our users to log off we found that two PC's had hung in windows which when rebooted solved the problem...Nobody told us that the PC's had hung!! Moral PC's + windows +solaris = trouble....
SparcArray Trauma.
Once upon a time it was decided that Solaris 2.4 on the 1000E should be upgraded to 2.5.The 1000E has a nice fat SparcStorage array attached to it which has all out user files on it..One fateful day we upgraded and all seemed to be going well until the machine rebooted-and LO! it said that it could not see the Array-cold sweat time..After a lot of hassle we recovered the array-here are the sequence of instructions... (by the way I do not except any liability if you are mad enough to try this and something nasty happens..) Stage one-create Small Rootdg Group
Prerequsists:-Install Solaris,install volume manager,reboot.
Create a 2 cylinder rew partition on a disk
Do not run VXINSTALL
set initital VM operating mode to disable.

stage two mv_rootdg_data_to_datadg


you can now use backup etc to back up files.... We will now move all the volumes which have data on from the original rootdg,create another diskgroup and put the volumes in there....
Something similar occured recently-a power cut happened which ,of course,caused all our unix machines to reboot(UPS's are a rarity)-the big sun is not protected(no cash when we bought it) so it and the Sparc Array went down.When the sun came back up,it could not see the sparc array (which can take some time to power up),so the sun reconfigures itself without the array...Shutting down and doing a boot -r did not help...

My Worst Mistakes...
Confession time...
My worst one so far was deleting a unix kernal from a Sco machine.Lucky for me the machine was on its last legs (dying hard disk) so I guess it might have been a form of euthanasia.....

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Last Updated 24/10/96 by Ian